nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
