Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
