Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
