ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
