pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
