I heard we made out
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
