Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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