He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
