i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
