I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
