I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
