just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He did a backflip because drugs
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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