I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
