Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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