I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
