Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
