I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
