According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
