not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
