you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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