she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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