Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
