All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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