im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
