this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
