life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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