His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
