Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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