Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
