How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
