He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
