yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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