The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We need a shit load of segways right now
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
