Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
