P.S. I can't hear my feet
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
