sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
