one two three fourrrrnication!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
