I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
