Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
