nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My dick has a subreddit
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
