Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
