i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
FUCK WHALES
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
