what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
