You're so nebulous sometimes
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
