So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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