My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
