I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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