absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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