I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
