About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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